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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
