Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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