I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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