So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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