You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
