i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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