It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
