she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
