wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she told me i tasted like america
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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