Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
