This dress was meant to end up on your floor
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
