so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
