we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
