this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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