Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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