I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
