where does the pee come out of this thing
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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