Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
