just come out here and I will go home with you...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
