Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
