I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
