Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
