that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
