Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
