well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
