just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
