goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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