Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
