did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
