He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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