I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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