i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
