well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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