Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
