Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
