I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So vagazzling was a success
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
