Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
