I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
