ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Vodka?
Forever.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
