My room smells like vodka and shame
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
