playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
