Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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