The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
