called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize