Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
