she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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