I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
