Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
