Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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