This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
