stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
